ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
