My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
