we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
