I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
