i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
