did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
