I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
