I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
