Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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