I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
