Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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