Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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