Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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