I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
