you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
