I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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