I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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