I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
