Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize