Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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