I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
