Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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