brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
