we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
