I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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