I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
