yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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