I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
