I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
worst night to have a conscience
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
