these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
