lets start a swedish sibling band together
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
