Pappa wants mamma naked
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
