Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
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If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
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I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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