Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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