so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My ATM looks so different sober.
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You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
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He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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