My sheets look like a crime scene.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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