sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
