wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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