I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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