I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize