He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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