is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
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These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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