evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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