dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
