he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
