My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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