I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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