whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
