Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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