I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
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Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
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