we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When did angry sex become our thing?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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