doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
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we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
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I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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