Got a toothbrush?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just cut my nipple shaving
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
