I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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