wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
