Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
