Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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