yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
