: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
