Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
