are you still at the devil's house?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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