Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize