It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
