im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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