no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
