so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
