literally had 100 drinks last night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize