He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
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Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
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I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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