I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize